Posts filed under ‘Hello World’

She Found Happiness

This very morning my mom forced me to go to her friend’s son’s wedding. I gotta admit that going to wedding is not my favorite, but because it was my mom who woke me up very early (I’m not a morning girl) and with all her yelling and long explanations of how tremendously important it was to go to a wedding, I then reluctantly woke up and dragged my feet to the bathroom and started to dress up. as soon as we arrived, I wasn’t really expecting that it would be a great flawless extravagant wedding, and that was true, everything seemed to be just ordinary, just like other common traditional wedding, with Javanese style decoration and all the sheet and flowers were arranged in brown, red and white. The family wore traditional dresses with careful details and same color. They greeted all the guests, including me and my mom, the little girls at the receptionist desk gave me a souvenir, a wooden fan, which I really love to have, to thank all the guests for being present at the wedding. And according to the tradition, all guests must greet and give best wishes and prayers to the couple and their family at the wedding stage when they arrive at the wedding. My mom and I afterward went inside and I could see the bride’s face from the distance and I asked my mom how old the bride was. And my mom replied it sarcastically and humorously at the same time, “24. She’s just as old as you are. And she’s now married”. And all of a sudden I laughed aloud and my mom had to pinch my arms to stop laughing that loud in the crowd. I knew that she was actually trying to tease me (and probably remind me of the things I should start to think about; getting into a serious relationship and married right away.. ahahaha.. mom you’re the best!).

Anyway, after we greeted the newly wed couple & family, my mom grabbed a plate of fruit salad and, as usual; we shared it and gave comments and compliments about the wedding. It might sound crazy but this is what we do at the wedding. If professional critiques give comments about actors’ performance in movies, my mom and I give comments to wedding. After few comments, my mom suddenly asked about my best friend who soon is getting married. I told her that she’s engaged and trying to prepare her wedding. “She must be really happy and excited”, said mom. Talking about her rang me a bell which reminded me of her own “pursuit” of happiness.

When my best friend and her boyfriend started to date, she introduced me to him and ever since that, we’ve been a great best friend, sometimes they asked me to go out together (even tough I didn’t have any boyfriend, and when I did, we even had a double date, a very fun one). And when I broke up and fell apart, they were always there for me. They even tried to match make me with their friends. It was a great time to spend with them. My best friend loved him so much and so did he and people could tell that from the way they looked at each other’s eyes. They were madly in love. And they were so happy together. Except the fact that they are ‘different’, they have different faith and their families were very strict about that. Her boyfriend even had stated that he wouldn’t convert and said that it was forbidden to convert in his family and it would bring dishonor to his family. We all knew from the very beginning that it would be a major problem for them in the future. Going to their 5th year they’d been together, everything went well, until she told me that her family told her not to see him anymore, because they didn’t want her to have a future husband whose faith is different. They were afraid that they were getting more serious.

But it was impossible for her to leave him, all that she could do was cry and pretend that everything was okay in front of him. Whenever he asked about her eyes that got swollen from crying the whole night, she would tell him that she didn’t get enough sleep. I was in a dilemmatic situation as well, whether to support her family or her boyfriend. On one side, I was their best friend and supposed to support them through the best and worst thing, but on the other side, I didn’t have a heart to see my best friend suffered from the situation in which she had to choose between what she believed and what she felt at that time. Even when she had to leave him, she knew that she could never do that because there were just so perfect together. Until she finally decided to follow what her heart said and that she should sacrifice her love and feelings for her boyfriend, when she told me that, I asked her how she would tell him. She said that she wouldn’t, and she would sacrifice herself instead. I assured her whether it was the best way and decision for her. She paused and looked at me in the eyes, her eyes told me everything she felt inside, and they reflected grief and unimaginable sadness. Seeing her that way made me feel so sad and finally justified whatever she decided. She started to see someone else and when her boyfriend found it out, he went to her house and saw her with another guy, he was completely calm and wasn’t mad at all. But he kept on asking her “why” for so many times in front of her, and that guy and her family. He didn’t lose his temper, he just wanted an answer from her, but she didn’t give any, but to shut the door and leave him at the doorway. For the following weeks, he still wanted an answer, he texted her, called her, begged her and even asked my favor to try to talk to her. I could only promise him that I would try, but I knew that it wouldn’t work. Her decision was final.

Time passed by, she was still in a deep grief, yet, her family was very happy knowing that there was a guy who loved her and more importantly had the same faith and came from the same city. She pretended that she loved him and every time I asked her how she could go through it, she always said she couldn’t. She told me that she did that so he would think that she was no good for him because she cheated on him and hoped that he would eventually forget her and try to find another girl, the one who really loves him and has the same faith as what he believes in.

Years after that, she told me that she was ready to tell everything and the truth to her new boyfriend. She expected that he’d be surprised and mad at her, but he didn’t, he even told her that he understood and would never bother and even ask about that again. As she was telling me that, I could see something different from her eyes, her eyes flared like a fire, and it was exactly the same eyes that I saw when she told me she was in love with her boyfriend when they first met at college. Somehow, I felt so relieved knowing that she was okay even tough she still found it really hard to forget him. I didn’t dare to ask her about what she felt, neither about her current relationship, nor how she felt about her ex.

It’s been almost 4 years now, and when we met in October she told me that they were going to get married. I was so thrilled to hear that. I’m so glad that she is finally happy again. Other people who know this story think that she’s being so extremely selfish, thinking about herself and dumped someone who really loved her in such a mean way by cheating on him. But I fully understand what she’s been through. They were just some lovers who loved each other unconditionally, and this world was being so mean to them. Yet, everything happens for a reason, and to my best friend, what had happened to her should bring triple happiness for her and her ex. she told me that everything seems to be better for her and her ex, they appreciate and enjoy their friendship and the last time her ex called me, he said that he had forgiven her and the most exciting part was to hear that he was trying to get close to another girls and ready to start all over again (he even asked my opinion about girl’s best gifts to be given on first date!).

I’ve learned so much from her story. I’ve learned that loving doesn’t mean possessing, loving is seeing your loved ones happy, it may never be fair, but when we see our loved ones smile, the pain and aches inside are worth taking. I’ve learned that true happiness is never too far away, it is right here, it is all around us. I’ve learned that forgiving is an ultimate power that can heal your grieved soul. I’ve learned that hopes and prayers always keep our head up high wherever we go in this mean & crazy world. I’ve learned that for every painful thing that happens to us, we should stop asking ourselves “why”.

It took years for her to heal and discover happiness, yet, it takes forever for her to forget him who once was in her heart. A week ago, her ex and I happened to be online and I asked how he was doing, “never been more awesome than this” was the words that popped up from the computer screen. He also told me and everyone else that I should stop calling him her ex, and start calling him as her friend.

December 24, 2009 at 9:02 am Leave a comment

Song of the week

I found it really hard to get rid off this song out of my mind, i guess i’m kinda stuck on it. At first, i thought it was just another ordinary-what-so-called-punk underground song, but when i listened to the lyric, i was like: “Hell yeahh.. this is something!!!”. So, GIRLS, if you ever feel that you’ve been brokenhearted, cheated, and disrespected by some brainless stupid guys out there, this is a perfect song that will make you realize that you deserve better than JUST that guy.. Cheers!!

Buried Myself Alive (by The Used)

You almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm
red flashing lights
well this time I’m not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
so I could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time

I guess it’s ok I puked the day away
I guess it’s better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you’re gonna have to ask

I think the chain broke away
and I felt it the day that I had my own time
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
but it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home

I guess it’s ok I puked the day away
I guess it’s better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you’re gonna have to ask
nicer than that
nicer than that
nicer
nicer

December 14, 2009 at 12:09 pm Leave a comment


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